Listening to Nonspeaking Students with Autism

Are You Listening?

As an intervention specialist working with nonspeaking students with autism, I came to understand that the most important thing I could do was listen. And not just with my ears and my brain, but with my whole heart. With my soul.

That meant not assuming I knew what a student needed or wanted without checking with them. It meant asking follow-up questions to clarify meaning, to engage, to learn more. It meant presuming competence in my students and believing what they told me. It meant noticing when someone was in distress and being present with them. It meant paying attention to how someone moved, the sounds they made, what they seemed to be seeking and then offering options. And it meant revising those options until I found what helped. It meant tuning into what my heart was telling me, what my gut was telling me, and then confirming that with the student. It meant letting the student lead.

Creating a Sacred Space

In my classroom, when I was able to truly listen, to make space to connect, the effect was obvious. For example, I had a student who was often agitated as soon as he walked into the room. He would grab my hand and pull me over to my teacher table, where I worked one-on-one with students. Then, he would pull the portable dividers around us so we were separated from everyone else in the room. I would ask, “Is there something you want to tell me?” and he would tap “Yes” on my "Yes/No" card. Then, I would offer him a dry erase marker and a white board, and with my support, he would tell me what was bothering him. Sometimes, it was a sound. Sometimes, it was a feeling that he couldn’t say more about. Sometimes, a person. And sometimes, he might just point to an emotion on the feelings chart and then walk away, feeling better. Just expressing the feeling made him feel better. Because he’s a human being.

This ritual of ours didn’t just happen. It emerged because my student and I created a sacred space together. It began as a work space, but because he shared his feelings and thoughts there, and I heard them, it became sacred. He knew that when he closed those blue walls around us, I was there with him—and just him. And I was listening.

Being Heard and Understood

Just like all human beings, nonspeaking people need to be understood. They have thoughts and feelings like everyone else and need to express them. And if they tell you something that surprises you or seems like something they couldn’t possibly understand, your job is to believe them. To find out more. To ask them to show you what they mean and to share what they know. Your job is to listen.

I truly believe that the most important thing we can do for a person who struggles with speech is to listen to all the ways in which they communicate. If we stay open, we begin to hear what is being expressed. When we listen, openly and intently, it demonstrates our respect for the human being in front of us. And that is the basis of true communication.